We Got Served

Microsoft has been taking a bit of heat lately regarding Fiji, the much anticipated update to Windows Media Center.  I came across this “Top 10″ list tonight and thought a few MC users could use a little comedy relief:

The Top 10 things you never knew about Windows Media Center “Fiji”

10. Fiji has been optimized for the new Media Center “Force Feedback” remote.

9. Native support has been added for the new TV Standard DVB-ET - which allows you to pick up TV signals from the rest of the universe (just like in the movie ‘Contact’).

8. Fiji is now water resistant to over 20 meters. (to account for global warming)

7. In order to actually get hold of Fiji - you’ll need to camp overnight in a queue outside the newly opened Apple Store in Sydney.

6. The new Fiji update is so robust it will withstand up to 2 roundhouse kicks from Chuck Norris (and up to 3 if running on Windows Vista Ultimate).

5. The development for this update was outsourced to a company in Fiji (hence the name) - and was delayed initially due to the coup e’tat and then again by an interdepartmental rugby match.

4. Fiji is the flagship product for the OMCPC project (One Media Center per Child) being funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates charity - and aims to completely eradicate Linux usage in the poverty stricken nations of Africa by 2012.

3. New security and WGA features in Fiji now perform scans across home networks to detect rival PVR software like SageTV and Media Portal - and if found - promptly reports you to the local authorities (where you’ll be charged with Polygamy).

2. Windows Fiji will be shipped to the public with Windows ‘99 - whose release will be tied in with the upcoming ‘Get Smart’ Sequel.

<drumroll>

1. ‘Fiji’ was initially called ‘That yearly update to Media Center you really want - but can’t have - and we’d have to kill you anyhow - so nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah’ - but after repeated complaints from MS operations staff (that the memo’s were taking up way too much space on the mail servers) - it was shortened to “Fiji”.

Enjoy!